I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
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