I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
