Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
Randomize
