who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
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