so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
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