Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
