He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
