I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
Your christmas gifts are already wrapped, how on top of my shit am I?
I'm hungover as fuck and had to break into my own house by throwing a cinder block through my back door at 4am. You're more on top of your shit than me.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
Randomize
