are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
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