I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
well you can't waste a boner
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
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