Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Randomize
