this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
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