plz talk dirty to me
Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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