God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
We need to get me chipped asap
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
Randomize
