My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
Randomize
