There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
My ATM looks so different sober.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Randomize
