And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
organizing the empties. That sober.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
Randomize
