Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
being pregnant is like rehab
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
