it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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