She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
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