we're blogging at a bar
put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
Randomize