i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
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