hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
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