Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(614): View more from Ohio

i dont know whats so great about being respectable.

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(636): View more from Missouri

I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.

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(314): View more from Missouri

I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"

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(306): View more from Saskatchewan

coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast

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(815): View more from Illinois

he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...

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(706): View more from Georgia

Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.

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(973): View more from New Jersey

I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.

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(317): View more from Indiana

Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?

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(516): View more from New York

I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.

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