Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
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