ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
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