I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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