That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
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