i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
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