you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
Randomize
