I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
Randomize
