Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
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