you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
Randomize
