She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
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