So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
Randomize
