hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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