Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
How the fuck did you go into work today? You are a better man than I. I couldn't even show up to being unemployed on time.
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
Randomize
