Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
Randomize
