i don't like sucking hair
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
try to milk me bitch
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
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