Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
Randomize
