I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
Randomize
