i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
Randomize
