Where are you?
In a non slutty way
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
Couch. On fire.
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
Randomize
