he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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