so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
Do you have any cake mix? I kind of need to make a "im sorry i drank all your parents tequila, threw up all over your floor and slept with you boyfriend" cake.
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
