Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Randomize
