Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
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