I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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