Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
Randomize
