I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
I have feelings that need drinking.
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Randomize
