No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
