So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
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