you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
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