I look better un-naked...
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
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