kristin has been a bad kristin
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
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