Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
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