That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
Randomize
