Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
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