my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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