But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
Randomize
