you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
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