She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
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